Thursday, June 11, 2009

To Trust Is To Be Blind

Not that I have experience in being blind. However I do have many experiences of losing my glasses, thus feeling like I am blind. In those instances, I have relied on my other senses to guide me along the way. Many times I walk with my hands straight out in front of me, my steps are slower, and I am listening to see if someone is going to play a trick on me.

I remember one winter, we were on a snowmobile trip. On the last day, pulling into the house someone elbowed me in the eye and knocked one of my lenses out of my glasses. I was so distraught that I could not see. So in my blind state I went out to the driveway and crawled back & forth to see if I could find my missing lens. Of course my efforst were futile. While I was relying on my extra senses, I knew deep down in my heart that I could not find that missing lens in 3 feet of snow. Yes, I was thankful for the new pair of glasses. =0)

As I sit here tonight, I find myself feeling so empty. I should be studying for mid-terms, but I seriously have no energy. I find myself reflecting about my recent decisions about returning to school, and my career change. I keep asking the questions, "God is this really the plan, Am I really supposed to feel so drained, Are the feelings of defeat normal"? And in typical God fashion, the only response I get is "Trust Me".

Wow - Trust Me! Sometimes I feel like this thing called trust, is me out in the driveway trying to find my missing lens. Trust is something that you do day by day, relying on all the things you know to be true, - past experiences that have brought you to this point. Trust is not something that can just be pulled out like an umbrella on a rainy day. It is supposed to be like a savings account that you deposit into on a weekly basis, and you only withdraw when you need it.

So here I sit tonight finding myself on this path called trust. I am doing my best to endure the journey as if I were blind - relying on all my other senses so as not to miss anything along the way.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thing heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all the ways acknowledge Him and He shall bring it to pass.