The Weight of a Mantle

So this day has come to an end with quite a heavy load to bear. The missionary family received word that our dear Sister Barb Willoughby passed away. She had battled with cancer for over 12 years.

Just sitting here reflecting, I remember the times I have heard her minister she would always say she was a "worshipper". That was her sole purpose in life - to worsihp Jesus. Sister Barb lived out her life and fulfilled what she was called to do. The few times I was priviledged to be with her & sit and have conversation with her, she would always remind me to worship Jesus with everything that I had within me. Sister Barb had the innate ability to say just a few words, but give you food for thought for days. I always would go away, wanting my life to mirror hers.

Now that it has sunk in that she has passed, I realize there is no time to waste in using the mantle that she passed on. I truly feel the weight of her mantle - the responsibility to worship no matter what comes my way. The mantle of worship requires one to worship God because He is God and not just what He can do for me if I worship Him. There is no time like the present to step up to the plate and do my part, and make sure that my generation experiences the mantle of Barbara Willoughby. With a resounding yes, I will be a worshipper!!!!

To Trust Is To Be Blind

Not that I have experience in being blind. However I do have many experiences of losing my glasses, thus feeling like I am blind. In those instances, I have relied on my other senses to guide me along the way. Many times I walk with my hands straight out in front of me, my steps are slower, and I am listening to see if someone is going to play a trick on me.

I remember one winter, we were on a snowmobile trip. On the last day, pulling into the house someone elbowed me in the eye and knocked one of my lenses out of my glasses. I was so distraught that I could not see. So in my blind state I went out to the driveway and crawled back & forth to see if I could find my missing lens. Of course my efforst were futile. While I was relying on my extra senses, I knew deep down in my heart that I could not find that missing lens in 3 feet of snow. Yes, I was thankful for the new pair of glasses. =0)

As I sit here tonight, I find myself feeling so empty. I should be studying for mid-terms, but I seriously have no energy. I find myself reflecting about my recent decisions about returning to school, and my career change. I keep asking the questions, "God is this really the plan, Am I really supposed to feel so drained, Are the feelings of defeat normal"? And in typical God fashion, the only response I get is "Trust Me".

Wow - Trust Me! Sometimes I feel like this thing called trust, is me out in the driveway trying to find my missing lens. Trust is something that you do day by day, relying on all the things you know to be true, - past experiences that have brought you to this point. Trust is not something that can just be pulled out like an umbrella on a rainy day. It is supposed to be like a savings account that you deposit into on a weekly basis, and you only withdraw when you need it.

So here I sit tonight finding myself on this path called trust. I am doing my best to endure the journey as if I were blind - relying on all my other senses so as not to miss anything along the way.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thing heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all the ways acknowledge Him and He shall bring it to pass.

My Anthem these days - Compliments to Marvin Sapp.

Performance or Presence

I read something today that intrigued me. It said "Choir sang great - service was awesome!"

How many times do we come to church and just put on a show, and never really entertaion the presence of God. We base a "knock-out" service on how many ladies sent bobby pins flying & how many men loosened their ties.

I wonder how many of our churches would be full and overflowing if we could change our focus from perfecting our performance to perfecting our hosting skills. If we could really focus on getting in touch with Jesus and making sure His presence is entertained.

Recently I heard a sermon preached about being a worshipper or a praiser. They were defined as follows: praiser - someone who praises God for what He has done in your life, worshipper - someone who worships because of who God is, regardless of what He does for you.

Yes, I shout and dance with the best of them & I love it when the choir sings under the anointing, but more than anything, I cherish those sweet moments when Jesus comes into our services and drapes you in what feels like a big warm blanket, and you know your are safe.

Entertain His presence, and then your performance will be perfected!

How Do You Measure?

After a conversation I had today, I am perplexed by the thoughts that run through my head. I keep asking myself, "Is this really how life is supposed to be? or is there a better way"?

I know that we as humans all seek approval in some shape or form. However, the more of the world I see the more I realize that this is a huge issue not just on a secular level, but even within our churches. I see girls so consumed by what type of clothes they wear, who their friends are, who the hang out with at General Conference, and help us even if they get to go . . . all of this for a status symbol. It almost feels like our lives are virtual facebook pages - the more approval we have from certain people the better off we are. And here I sit asking myself the question why?

What is it about approval that makes us think we are somebody and something? I would hate to think that it is an attitude of pride since the book of Proverbs cautions us about that. Since when has it become ok to guage our happiness by the approval of man, and the thing we own or do not. I know the book of Matthew specifically talks about storing your treasure where moth & rust cannot corrupt.

I feel like the list could go on & on of all the places in the Bible that it instructs us to not put our hopes on the approval of man, but in Jesus Christ. I know that I have fallen into this trap many times, and am sure that it will happen again. However, I want to keep in mind that the only person who's approval I need is God. He has validated me to fulfill my ministry, and when I walk the path that He has created for me I know that I have His approval and nothing else matters. The doors that have been opened up for me are directly from God Himself.

So it is with HIS approval that I walk through these doors knowing He has my best interest at heart. If I measure up to Him, and the plans He has created for me - only then will true happiness come.

Food For Thought

So yes, life has been insanely busy. School & work keep me going full time at both, and then there is the the homework, and let's not even talk about my responsibilities at church. It overwhelms me nonetheless. However, just because I am not blogging like I used to, does not mean I don't have tid bits running through my head. Here is what has been on the thought play list for a few days.

Thought #1:

Dreams & visions are from God Himself.
So many times we feel like that just because we do not see them come to pass immediately, we hang them up & forget about them.
What needs to happen is we need to go the the room of faith and do a little spring cleaning.
Clean out the cob webs, blow the dust off, spray some febreeze & begin to breathe life back into our dreams.
It does not matter that our dreams seem so far-fetched does not mean that God has changed His ability to bring them to pass.
So reach for the stars - who cares if it is a bean dream! You never know, it might be in the perfect will of God!!!!

Thought #2:
Friends come & go, but the power of friendship stays the same.
What you invest into a friendship, is exactly what you get out of it.
Just because you lose touch of friends every now & then, does not mean that that relationship cannot be rekindled.
The power of friendship is similar to that of a high powered battery, it will keep going for a long time without being recharged.
God gave us friends to help us through the difficult times in life, just so we would have laughing partners.

Thought #3
Trust is a huge topic!!!
I do not think it is a lesson that is completely learned in life.
I myself feel like trust is a huge vortex that keeps spinning around and round.
So many times in life we trust God for a period of time & then all of a sudden, we think we are a superhero and for some reason we do not need to trust.
However we fall down & go running like a dog with our tail stuck between our legs asking God to forgive us.
I envision trust in God like a good game of memory.
You may not always get the match right away.
However you keep trying until you know where all the pieces are.
Trust in God is the same way - it is a continual process, until trusting Him becomes second nature & we do it without even realizing it!!!

Thought #4:
Since I am soon to celebrate my 26th birthday, I have realized that my mom is ALWAYS right!!!
She taught me that 2 wrongs do not make a right.
Even though my sisters & I always smarted back and said "No, they make a left".
This was our way of getting out of admitting she was right.
Well here I sit today, with my mom's voice ringing in my head.
For 2 days in a row, I have worked with this lady who is literally what the Bible talked about when it said "Pray for those who despitefully use you."
She has done everything within her power to make me angry and to get me in trouble.
Every time I just look at her, smile & walk away - with my mom's voice ringing in my head "2 wrongs don't make a right".
Finally, today my boss came up to me & said "So how long were you going to let this happen without talking to me"?
There was really not much I could do except here my mom's voice again in my head "If I hold my peace, and let the Lord fight my battles. . . "
My mom is precious & wise beyond words.
Love you mother!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing Everyone Up to Speed

So I have not been completely faithful to my New Year's Resolutions. I know that alot of people don't ever keep their's, but I so wanted to do my best at keeping them.

Anwyays . . . so much has happened since my last post. Here are the hightlights:
1. Became highly addicted to Facebook.
2. Mom flew home again for Kaylah's surgery.
3. Kaylah is a new person.
4. Tessa moved home.
5. Been looking for a new job.
6. Denied a job with Verizon Wireless - I just didn't click with those people!!!
7. Still working for the church.
8. Had planning retreat.
9. Started coaching Jr. Quizzing again.
10. Accepted to Dental School.
11. About to land a job with Nordstrom.
12. Thinking about becoming a dentist - why settle?????

Life is good - extremely busy, but I am so blessed.

I do not know how often I will blogging - since school is now going to consume most of my time.

I will stop by with some inspiring posts everynow and then.

Welcome 2009

This New Year has come so quickly. I still feel like I am stuck in June - sure wish it was June weather. So much has happened this year that I do not even know where to start in explaining at how amazing God has been. All I know is that I look back and I can see where the visible hand of God has carried me through some of the darkest days of my life.

As I was pondering this new year, I was looking for a new slide show on my blog page and every adjective that I entered it just wasn't good enough. The best way that I can describe my outlook for this year is summed up in a sunrise. You see a sunrise represents something that is new. Every single day, the sun rises and chases away the darkness. The bad no longer has room to grow because the light brings the good.

This year I choose to walk towards the light. Many different things crossed my path in 2008 that I began to feel like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I now feel the freshness of the New Year. So I refuse to be afraid of the past, but willing accept was in store for the future.

2009 is going to ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008 in Reflection

January
- Went to Landmark
- Kaylay turned 21
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- Worked 2 nanny families
- School full time

February
- Sweet Uncle Bob passed away
- Poppa came to town
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- School full time
- Down to 1 nanny family more than full time

March
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- Took over Jr Quizzing
- School full time

April
- Kaylah's journey started
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- Poppa came to town
- School full time

May
- Went to L.A. for Amy's birthday
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- Poppa came to town
- School full time

June
- missed mom & dad
- Jr Quizzers placed to go to Nationals
- Attended Summons to Sacrifice
- Started working for Winds of Pentecost
- School full time
- I turned 25

July
- Jr Quizzers go to Nationals
- Mom comes home
- Tessa & Kandra here for the summer
- Kaylah's surgery
- Missed Dad
- School full time
- Tessa turned 20
- Kandra turned 17

August
- Mom still here
- Tessa & Kanrad still here
- Mk Retreat
- School full time
- Missed Dad
- Pappa & Narn in town
- Aunt Nancy came to visit

September
- Mom's surgery
- Mom, Tessa & Kandra go back to Tanzania
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- School full time
- Back to the nanny family now part time
- Amy came to town

October
- Went to General Conference
- School full time
- Amy came to town
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj

November
- Happy Thanksgiving with Shirleys & Nickels
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- Amy came to town
- School full time

December
- Merry Christmas with Howells
- Missed mom, dad, tess & kanj
- Pastor had open heart surgery
- Laid off from the nanny family

Christmas 2008

To my family in Africa:
You are the ones my heart longs to be with, but time & circumstance will not allow it. I pray that you have been blessed by surruounding yourselves with people who love you and will help you celebrate this wonderful day. Even though we are apart, know that you were not replaced or forgotten. Merry Christmas to those who consume every though of every day, and who are the subject of every conversation to anyone that will listen.

To my family in Canada:
I sure wish I could have spent this white Christmas with you. In fact I am jealous you had 2 ft of snow, and all I had was 33 degree weather with the sun shining. Life is different that we used to know it. Oh the memories of sitting on the kitchen floor (yes all 7 of us grands), and Poppa complaining that we had 200 chairs to sit on and we choose to sit on the floor. The days when getting gameboy was easier for Nana to buy than for her to decide what size of clothes would be best. Merry Christmas to you all as we go about the changes that life brings. Especially now as we branch out and become our own families. May we never forget the traditions that have made us who we are and may we celebrate them for many more Christmas' to come.

To the family who cared for me on Christmas 2008:
You all are incredible!!! My heart is overwhelmed at your thoughtfulness as you took in 2 stray girls and loved us like your own. You made us feel like we belonged and that was the greatest Christmas present anyone could ever give. You accepted us for who we are and allowed us to be ourselves. I pray you all will be blessed for giving the simple gift of love. You will never know what a great feeling it is. I am so blessed to have you in my life. You made me feel like I was with my own family. In fact there were a few times, that if I closed my eyes I thought for sure I was with them. I knew I loved you before this holiday and now I am convinced that I love you even more!! Merry Christmas to you ALL (the puppies included)!!!!!!!!

Life

Life sure has been crazy around my house for the past few days.

It goes something like this:

-taking care of Pastor Trimble's family while he had open heart surgery.
this means going to the hospital everday for a week, & making sure everyone had eaten that day.
-during that time, I was laid off from my nanny family. I am sure going to miss those kids.
-decorated the church for the Christmas program.
-directed the choir Christmas program.
-Choir Christmas party.
-Jr & Sr Bible Quizzing started.
-my friend Amy had jaw surgery. I stayed with her overnight for 3 nights.
-Christmas shopping.
-wrapping all my presents.
-car shopping.

Yeah I know this list isn't that long, but by the time you drive and run all over time there isn't much time at the end of the day to blog.
I have not neglected you faithful readers - life just has been so busy. I have found myself asking what is more important sleeping or eating. And at times sleeping has won the battle.
Thanks for your support!

Be Still

I literally have had this blog up for a couple of hours contemplating on how to convey what is on my mind.

My last post I referenced the verse in Psalms that instructs us to "Be still and know that I am God." I truly have been doing that the past couple of days. It seems like as the holidays draw nearer, more and more seems to pile up. I get so frusterated with myself for the simple fact that I run hither and yon and really don't take the time to Be Still. I get so busy, that I double book myself with appointments, I put to much responsibility on my own shoulders instead of spreading the wealth.

However last night I was stopped dead in my tracks with the news of a few simple text messages. My dear friend proceeded to tell me she has cancer! Even now typing this I have a hard time comprehending this. As she began to tell me all that was going on, I suddenly realized that I was supposed to go for coffee with her about 2 weeks ago. I asked her if this is what she wanted to talk to me about that night I cancelled. She said yes and immediately I was so convicted. How could I be so selfish and not put her first. Isn't that what I learned in Sunday School - JOY = Jesus, Others & Yourself last? As I sat there for 2 hours texting her back and forth, I knew that I had learned my lesson to take the time to "Be Still".

Please be in prayer for my friend. She is 24 and has been diagnosed with malignant lymphoma. The doctors feel like that they caught it quite early, however it does not take away from the fact she has cancer. Also, she has not been in church for over a year, and pretty much believes that God is punishing her for this. She made the statement last night "I am ready to die, that way I would know where I was going. I don't know if I believe in Heaven or Hell." Pray that God will give me wisdom to help her through this and that she will be restored to Him - body, soul & spirit.

So today I was at the bank and Lorraine was helping me. I felt that I should invite her to our Christmas service on Sunday. Right then and there, I took the time to Be Still and plant a seed.

No longer will I avoid those moments of stillness. I recognise that in that stillness is usually when God reveals some incredible things in you life. I encourage you today in the busy-ness of Christmas to take the time to Be Still and hear the voice of the one from the manger.

The Most WONDERFUL Time of Year

This truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
The happiest season of all!
Hearts will be glowing!

Yes, this is my most favorite season of the year. The decorating, the party planning, the christmas musical at church, not so much the cold weather unless there is 10' of snow & I HAVE to stay home, the christmas lights, the logs in the fireplace - all of it I just love.

Even though it is the 5th of December, I have found myself already going to the malls like everyone else who waited til the last minute, however my tree is decorated, the outside of the house is decorated (mom you would be so proud!!!), my christmas cards are ordered, and I have even a few presents bought, just not wrapped. In the midst of all this I just find myself so busy running here and there, making sure everything is just right!

I have been finding myself thinking about buying gel pens to match the color of the cards, what kind of new recipe I will make for the Pastor's family this year, what type of decorations I will need for the Christmas musical, what dates my "Before & After" Christmas party will be. However in my "busy-ness" I fail to remember why we celebrate this wonderful season. It is so cliche' but Jesus truly is the reason for the season.

Tonight we had choir practice for the Christmas musical, and as we began to sing about how glorious, majestic & worth our King of Kings truly is ~ He came into that practice. I finally ended the song and turned it into a beautiful time of prayer. I had our Music Director lead us in prayer. She began to quote Psalm 46:10 'Be still and know that I am God." She began to encourage to put God back in His rightful place. I couldn't help but to stop and pause and rest in His presence. To truly concentrate on Him and thank Him that He came as a sweet little baby to this earth so long ago. Also remembering that He created us to worship Him & that He deserves all praise and glory.

Since leaving practice I have been repeating that verse of Scripture over and over again. I was also reminded of a blog that my sister wrote a little while back. It's not Christmasy by any means, but it's appropriate for this blog.

"The Silence Between the Notes."

She wrote,

"Have you ever noticed in life that sometimes the quietest moments are the ones that define you the most? Just recently I was reminded by the great composer Ludwig VOn Beethoven that it's not necessarily the musical notes that carry the mood of the piece but the dramatic pauses in between.

SO here I am today faced with the longest and loniest and largest PAUSE in my life. I have reached point A and am moving to point B but the journey between the points is what is defining me as an individual. Life is not always about achieving one goal to the next; sometimes life is about learning from the journey that has brought as far as we are. Life can not alwasy be about one event or another,finishing one task only to look for another, or to achieve the greastest reward still looking for something greater. There are times when we need to realize that being still and quiet are not bad things but they are sometimes the most valuable to you spiritually,emotionally,physically and mentally.

As a Christian how can you expect to hear the voice of God when all we ever do is talk or busy ourselves with the voices of other people. We listen for the approval of men never really seeking the approval of the ONE that matters the most. I think that sometimes we surround ourselves with noise and voices to drown out the VOICE that speaks the loudest. Beethoven also said that while God whispered to all men HE shouted at him(Beethoven) causing him to go completely deaf. It was not until then that Beethoven actually listened and heard music for what it really was. He realized then the importance of a PAUSE was the importance of the SILENCE.

I belive that life in its own way is a symphony that only you and I can determine where the PAUSES and the silence play HUGE roles. Life can't always be about the crashing of the cymbals and toooting of horns and the delicate whines of a violin; but somewhere along the line there has to be a PAUSE a time of reflection a time to stop and ponder the moment a time to rethink and a time to refocus.
It may come at an awkward time in your life or rather unexpectedly but never disregard the silence. In the silence is where we hear the most."

The 1st Day of December

While I am writing this and there is 46 minutes left of November and I have officially put up my Christmas tree (the lights will not be turned on until tomorrow - Dec 1st), and have decorated my blog for the blessed holiday season. I will stop and reminisce of such an incredible Thanksgiving weekend.

It all started on Wednesday November 26, 2008.

I was running around town for my dear friend Shauna to see if I could find her some wicker ornaments to hang. Yes I really did go to all the Home Goods in St. Louis and could not find a single one. In the midst of my running errands, my Pastor was in the hospital and found out he has 15 blockages & needs open heart surgery ASAP. Please keep him in your prayers. While I was taking care of church business and running around, I had a great chat with my dad. It had been a while since we were just able to talk, share ideas, exchange things we had been reading in the WORD. Yeah we're cool like that and we love to get on each others nerves. Oh and did I mention I did NOT have to nanny today - HALLELUJAH!!!!!! I really do love my nanny kids, but I do look forward to school holidays, because that means I usually have the day off too.

Thursday November 27, 2008.

This was a day to sleep in and I especially wanted to take advantage of that since it was in the middle of the week. However those who love me the most decided otherwise. I received 6 phone calls before 10 0'clock. But none-the-less I refused to be grouchy. It was Thanksgiving Day and I had way to much to be thankful for. I had dear friends who invited my sister and I over to their home for dinner. My pastor was out of the hospital. The Lord supplied money for my car to be fixed. I had plenty of delicious food to eat. My family called to wish me a "Happy Thanksgiving-from Africa". I have a home, clothes, a car, & good health. I have friends who put up with my weird sens of humor and laugh with me and not at me when I think something is funny.

Thanksgiving Day of 2008 will always hold a special place in my memory bank. It was this day that Java with Jenifer Joyce was truly initiated. I made name cards for everyone that was a member of Java with Jennifer Joyce at the Shirley home. There was quite a representation - the president: Cylinda Nickel, the North Carolina chapter, Missouri chapter, & the FMD chapter. If you want to know who these people are ask Cylinda.

On this day, I was introduced to "Dang-it Gary, *squallop* Lorraine, Cindy in her midwest town, and the pickup lines could go on forever. Also on this day, I chilled with some of my very best friends: Kaylah D & Cylinda & her family. There was no pressure - just a great time of laughter, quiet moments & good food.

Friday November 28, 2008

I actually had every intention of getting up at 8:30 a.m. becasue I had to run to the bank for my dad so they could move in to their new house. OOPS - I slept in & mom called to wake me up. Sorry dad!!! I got to the bank and took care of business. Please help me pray for Lorraine (yes that is her real name). I do business with her alot for mom & dad. I would love to win her to the Lord. I came back and took a shower, got Kaylah and we went and ate Mexican food - my fav!!!!!! We were finally on our way to the party store. Thank goodness they were open. Finally we arrived at the church.

Today was the MK Thanksgiving party - WOOT WOOT!!! Kaylah & I started the decorating process. If you know me at all you know I love love to decorate. So off to the storage closet I went and started pulling out all the "fall" stuff. I refuse to decorate for Christmas until it is Dec. Let me just interject that I so appreciate attending a church that has a decorating closet. We had so much fun making the fellowship hall cozy & warm for our MK family. Everyone started to arrive and the party was underway. When it was all said and done there were about 25 in attendance and not everyone showed up. It was a great time of fun, food, fellowship, and a few moments of prayer. Since this is my thanksgiving blog - let me just say I am so grateful/thankful for my MK family!!!!

I came home from the party Friday night and was quite agitated. Sometimes I get in those moods, and nothing seems to calm me down. So when that happens I start cleaning. For the sake of time let's just say I went to bed at 2. However, my house was spotless!

Saturday November 29, 2008

I slept in today - I just love holidays. I traded back and forth between the couch and the bed with Kaylah until it was time for me to go to work. It actually doesn't feel like work. I have been babysitting sweet Karly since she was 5 months old. She is now 17 months old and as sweet as can be. I was giving her a bath and she knows what swim like a fish means. Needless to say the entire bathroom & myself included was soaking wet. I got her out and was putting her jammies on her and she would grab my face and start patting my cheek. She was definitely getting sleepy and was a huge cuddle bug. I am so thankful for the Keske family. They are super sweet. As I was leaving, I mentioned to them that we were trying to raise money for mom to come home to be with us for Kaylah surgery. Without hesitation they said to let them know and they would support us financially. I am thankful for such sweet people in my life.

Sunday November 30, 2008

Only 1 service today!!!!!! Have I failed to mention I love holidays!!!! I went to church by myself today. Kaylah is just worn out from pain. We had a good move of the Lord there. However even though Pastor did not preach, he led worship and out did himself - he really needs our prayers! I came home and made Kaylah get up so we could go get some food. We decided to go to our favorite place to eat - Elephant Bar. We love going to this restraunt. It's so relaxing, out of the way, but in close proximity to the mall. Of course we made a quick run through the mall - we would have stayed longer but they were closing in an hour. However we did manage to buy each other a small Christmas present a piece. We came home and I pulled all the Christmas decorations out and made Kaylah lay on the couch as I decorated. Like I said before, the tree is up and decorated. However the lights are not allowed to be turned on until tomorrow!!!!

Since I have typed an entire book about 5 days of my Thanksgiving weekend, I must go for now. However, I hope that as you read this you will understand that I am truly grateful for all that God has done for me. I'm not the richest person in the world, nor do I claim to be the smartest. But what I do know is that every thing that I have has come from the Father. Without Him I would be nothing, could do nothing and would never be anything that I have dreamed. Take time to be grateful and thank Him for the little things. He loves to hear our thanks and rewards us in return. I truly believe that Thanksgiving comes before Christmas for a reason. It is a time of reflection on all the good things that He has given us. We may not be able to keep up with the Jones' across the road during Christmas, but we do have the ability to remember they way that He came to earth as a sweet babe to save us and how could we ever forget to thank Him enough for that.

Happy Thanksgiving 2008 friends!!! And remember to be thankful first and then celebrate His birth!

Psalm 3

Last night I was doing my Bible Reading, and as I was about to go to bed I felt impressed to read Psalm 3. Not remembering what passage this was, I quickly opened my Bible and read the enitre chapter like 5 times.

Verse 5 hit home:

But thou O Lord,

Art a sheild for me;

My glory

And the lifter of my head.

I read this over and over again, because I knew that this was to be my verse for today. The Lord knew that Kaylah's Dr appointments were going to be stressful, our car would break down and that we would need to be strong regardless of what the doctor said.

This was definitely my verse today!!! God literally was with us all afternoon long. I felt Him the moment our car decided to start stalling all the way down Olive Blvd - He truly confirmed He was a shield for us becasuse we did manage to pull into the doctor's office safe and sound. I knew He was with us as I started calling around for a rental car - He was my glory as I found that last rental car that Enterprise had for the day. Jesus wrapped His arms around me as I walked into church - and the entire time He was the lifter of my head.

Verse 6 says:

I will not be afraid

Of ten thousands of people

That set themselves against me round about

I have strenght tonight in knowing that He truly is with us and He knows exactly where we are at. We will complete this journey with a grateful heart knowing that He deserves all the praise!

Verse 5 says:

I laid me down and I slept

I awaked for the Lord sustained me

I have comfort in knowing He is my strength and that He will give us rest. He truly is our shield and no weapon formed against us shall prosper.

While these verses are out of order, they have ministered to me in this particular way all day. I was reminded of a song that I sang with chorale during my 3 years at Gateway that is my anthem today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB6cFqCBMAE

From A Sincere Heart

Last night we had all church prayer, and to be honest I did not want to go. However inspite of my exhausted state I forced myself to go. I was not disappointed by no means! For the past week the Lord has been speaking to me in dreams. Now I do not mean to spook anyone and make you think I have gone off the deep end. For one instance, I had gone to bed and had a vivid dream about my dad. I woke up out of a dead sleep and just felt deeply impressed to call my dad and pray for him. I tried to ignore, roll over and go back to sleep, but to no avail I could no shake this from my spirit. So finally after an hour and fifteen minutes of battling my self will, I called my dad in the middle of the night weeping, explaining that I HAD to pray for him. Of course he was gracious enough to let me pray for him, and then he of course wanted an explanation.

I began to explain to him what I was feeling in my spirit and the things that I was dreaming about. As I was speaking the words out of my mouth, God began to reveal to me that my family was under extreme spiritual attack. Kaylah's sickness and extreme pain, Kandra's malaria situation, Tessa's struggling with depression and life changing decisions, Mom & Dad's house being rented right out from under them, and my fatigue. Now I realize that if this was happening one situation at a time I would venture to say that it's just life and it happens. However, when we are struggling with such huge issues all at the same time, I'm smart enough to know the enemy does not like what we stand for and will do everything he can to distract us. So last night at prayer I walked in under such a heavy burden and had so much on my mind that it was difficult for me to focus. I was kneeling down at the front and just listening to the different ones connect with God. While listening, my radar ears picked up a voice just to my right that moved me to tears. You see it was the voice of Ray Helm. He is a new convert and is so in love with Jesus Christ. He really doesn't know the "pentecostal" way of praying - oh wait yes he does, he knows how to connect with a Savior who loves him. He realizes the price that was paid for his soul, therefore he is so grateful for the changes that have come to his life. For quite some time I just sat and wept and listened to this man pray.

Finally, I entered my own realm of just thanksgiving to God for being so accessible. I began to praise God for being such a God that does not care about being perfect and praying our perfect pentecostal prayers. What He does desire is for His people to come to Him with a pure heart and pure motives, who are willing to show Him our imperfect state. I began to enter into a realm in the Spirit that I had not been in such a long time. I began to intercede for my family and began to access the blood and plead it over every one of us. I prayed for my dear friends the Willoughyby's, the Royers, the Marquez's, & Timo to name just a few. I didn't pray a prayer of asking, I prayed a prayer of praise and thanksgiving for what God is doing in their lives. Whatever manner He chooses to heal them is His business, however it is our business as His children to praise Him for what He has done through them already and what He will continue to do.

This blog comes from a sincere heart, from one who is doing their best to be transparent about life when it seems the hardest.

Mercy for America

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning
Commentary.

My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crïeche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.

I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing yet? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Prayer - it does work!!!

Hey Ya'll,

Today has been another crazy day of doctors & hospital visits with my sister.

Life is going as good as can be expected.

Kaylah really needs a miracle ~ no other way to describe it.

Love you all.
C

The Power of NO

* I posted this around the same time last year ~ I thought it was worthy of reposting.*

If the Peanut Butter said NO to the Jelly would there be a PB&J?





If the Honey said NO to the Nut would there be HONEY NUT CHEERIOS?





If the Ham said NO to the Burger would there be a HAMBURGER?





If the Diet said NO to the Coke would there be DIET COKE?





If the Dr. said NO to the Pepper would there be DR. PEPPER?





If the Sweet said NO to the Tea would there be SWEET TEA?





If the Salt said NO to the Vinegar would there be SALT & VINEGAR CHIPS?





If the Pop said NO to the Corn would there be POPCORN?





If the Taco said NO to the Chip would there be TACO CHIPS?





Yes, I have weird thought patterns. However, humor me and see how creative this list can become. Sometimes it's good to be goofy - it really does relieve the stress.



Even though this blog started out goofy - there really is a thought behind all of this.
How many times do we take on tasks knowing that we will stress out completely before it gets accomplished. We know our plate is full and overflowing, we feel overloaded and overwhelmed, and yet we just keep piling on more. Instead of asking for two plates at the buffet, we say to ourselves oh it will fit right over here, and before long we have a huge mess of something that no longer looks appetizing and or attractive.



I encourage you today - take time for yourself.



Learn to say no when you know that the task is greater than you have strength.



If the Lord promised to never put more on us than we can bear - then why do we do it to ourselves.



The power of two little letters is so liberating.



Just say no - light a candle - grab a book - turn on some soft music - take time for YOU!!!