Firemen Don't Eat Goldfish

As you all know I am a nanny - going on 4 years now WOW!!!

Today was the typical chaotic lunch hour with 2 kids coming in from school, screaming because their field trip to the "punkin patch" got canceled, the baby climbing out of his high chair doing the monkey bars down the side of the wall. You get the drift that life is NEVER dull at my job.

Since Halloween is the long awaited holiday that my nanny children love, remnants of last year's costumes are being pulled out of the closet to be recycled and examined to see if new ones need to be purchased. Well this year the oldest boy (3yr) is determined he is NOT going to wear an old costume. He is going to be a firefighter end of discussion!!! We have talked for many days about what firemen wear when they go out to fight fires - we have read books about firemen - we have gone on the internet to look at firefighter gear. This has been a huge process. Well last night, his mother broke down and bought him a brand new costume. He was so proud of this firefighter costume that he actually slept in the pants last night as PJ's, and he was awake this morning at 6 am waiting for me at the door with his "fireman helmet, jacket, and a MIZZOU tiger tail as his fire hose." Oh did I fail to mention that he HAD to wear the helmet to school and his teacher let him wear it all morning long!!! HILARIOUS!!!!!

Now back to lunch time . . . my sweet boy whom I could not live without, marched in the door from school (still with the helmet on), went straight to the closet and put all the gear back on (as he was dressed at 6 am). Since lunch was delayed, I was passing out small handfulls of goldfish to all the kids while we waited on grilled cheese. The baby had some on his tray, sister had some, and I asked my boy if he wanted any, and in the most grown up voice he could find he stated, "FIREMEN DO NOT EAT GOLDFISH!!!!" Of course I laughed with his mom over this, but the thought never left my mind.

As I was pondering his statement, I thought how many times have I gone into prayer to make my requests known to God, and I end up telling HIM how HE has to perform. I make statements to which I do not even know the facts to. I state the circumstance according to the way that I see it, and do not even find a way to look at the picture from a different angle. I tell HIM the current situation concerning my finances, and the way HE can fix it is to give me a certain job, or I am sick and I tell HIM to provide a way for me to go to the Dr. instead of giving HIM the choice to heal or not. I am going to be honest - this has really perplexed me all day. God is God all by Himself and HE does not need my help. HE sees the end from the beginning - HE is the Prince of Peace - HE is the Lily of the Valley - HE is the Bright and Morning Star.

The things you can learn from a 3 year old and how they can be applied to day-to-day living is incredible. Give God credit for knowing all the facts - for know exactly how the puzzle is put together & for knowing what the picture looks like even before all the pieces are put together - for knowing which door is going to open even before there is a door to even look at. God is God all by HIMSELF & HE does not need our help or input!!! Just remember I learned today that "FIREMEN DO NOT EAT GOLDFISH!!!!!!"

Crazy As A Straw

As you can tell by now, I have thoroughlly neglected this blog for like the last 4 months. One might say that it has become dusty and in dire need of a good house cleaning. Well folks I have done just that - I have cleaned up around here. I have added a few things and took some away. Hopefully this redecorating project will inspire me to write. It is not that I have not had anything to write, because I constantly have thoughts that run through my head. However, life has been so crazy these past few months with hospital visits, surgeries, family visiting, school, new jobs, - just stuff that is life. Yes, I know that none of this is justification for neglecting my blog, I just felt like no one would want to read about my life that is crazier that the most crazy straw you have ever seen - you know the one that your kids get in birthday goody bags that usually get broken in the dishwasher. The kind of straw that goes straight from the cup of milk and then all of a sudden it curves to the left, then back to the right, and if you're super cool you can get the straw that looks like a pair of glasses. Folks that has been life lately - going every direction opposite of what normal should feel like. I know this sounds like a rant and rave session and it really is not, but just understand life has been super crazy. Please forgive me for not leaving you with valuable tidbits. Through this entirely crazy time, I can say that I have visibly seen the hand of God working and providing in the most obsene ways possible. I have joked here of late with some of my friends that the crazier my life gets the greater HIS faithfulness comes through. Exodus 14:13 has been my rock to hold on for the past few months, ". . . stand still and see the salvation of the Lord . . ." No matter how many loops life has, take a moment to stand still!!

Mirrors: Friend or Foe

So today is my 25th birthday, and yes I know most of you are saying in your head 'oh she is so young'. However, I haven't been feeling so young here of late. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, character analization - pretty much looking in the mirror.

I woke up this morning and I will admit I was quite grouchy. I just wanted to sleep in - don't talk to me, don't look at me!!! I had to get up and take Kaylah to work, and Kandra to the doctor. It was just a morning that I was not motivated to do such tasks.

To further my grouchy mood, I get on the freeway and a 18-wheeler blared his air horn right on my tail because he thought I should be driving at 80 mph just like him. Yes, folks I am a law abiding citizen - I drive the speed limit. I finally dropped Kaylah off to work and realized I had a few minutes before we needed to be to the doctor and that I did not eat breakfast. Ugh this day was just not going so well. We arrived at the doctor's office and get settled in. The report came and we knew what we had to do to take care of Kandra's hand, but the nurse practioner tells us to wait. This day really is not going as planned. I am now 30 mins late to the office and we have to wait some more. Needless to say we ended up waiting an hour and fifteen minutes, and I was an hour late to the office.

Once I arrived at the office, I was pilfering around in one of the drawers that desperately needs cleaning out and found a little poem and was immediately convicted. Here it is:

"The Man in the Glass"

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass;

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you're a

straight-shootin' chum

And call you a wonderful guy.

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you've cheated the man in the glass.

- Author Unknown

After reading this, I was so convicted that I had to go find a place and repent for my terrible attitude. I realized that if I saw myself in the mirror this morning as someone who was a grouch, and ungrateful, what did others portray me as.

Did my sisters feel tension from me this morning as I yelled at the truck driver while his air horn was blaring in my ear? Did I miss an opportunity at Burger King to witness to the lady who gave me a "king size" Diet Coke for free? Did I pass up a chance to care about the nurse practioner as she sat there chatting while I was silently grumbling about being late to work? I now realize that when I look in the mirror there lies the truth completely - am I a friend or a foe!!!

Seedlings . . . .

My mind goes back to that day in preschool and it was science day. This particular day the teacher handed out clear drinking cups full of potting soil, a bean, and small droppers full of water. Instead of listening to the instructions of planting our seeds on the edge of the cup so that we could watch the full germination process, I poked my finger in the middle of the cup, planted my seed and announced that I was done. After a scolding for not following the instructions, I went on my merry little way. However all too soon I was disappointed. In the weeks following, we begin to examin the cups on the window ledge. Everyone in the class but me was watching the full process that was taking place with their seed, while I had to imagine what was taking place with mine. Finally, after a few weeks of patiently waiting, my little plant proved to be faithful to its "don't-follow-the-instructions-gardener" and out came the tiniest of all plants. You can only imagine how elated I was.

Life has a way of making you grow. It is inevitable and cannot be helped. Many times when I think of something growing, I think of a seed being planted in some dirt, add a little water, then a few weeks later there is a plant. Just like my preschool days, all I see is the outward appearance of this little plant. Never one time do I give thought to the dying process underneath the soil, the process of the hard shell falling off of the seed so that roots can be established, the effort of the plant trying to push through the soil, the constant battle of make sure the plant will not be blown away by the wind, or washed away by the excess amounts of water, and so on.

As I was thinking about this, and reflecting on my life, I recognized all to quickly that this is what my life has been like. Always before I have gauged my life by the outward appearance of what was there and how it could be fixed. I never really gave thought to what was going on on the inside. The dying process - my integrity being questioned, the hard shell falling off - letting go of past issues of bitterness and establishing myself in the Word, the emerging of a new plant - plunging myself in this new dimension of knowing God in the fellowship of His suffering and in the power of His resurrection, the constat battles of being blown or washed away - finding the time along with Him in prayer and reading the Word.

I encourage you today, if you find yourself in a growing stage, praise God through this time. As painful and obnoxious as it may seem, praise Him regardless. The dying process is not glamorous, however the results are a life that is laden with fruit that is pleasing to all that are around (Matthew 7:16-20). Continue to praise God through this time in your life, and in the end you will look back and see that He was protecting you the entire time.

Conversing with a Zebra

I asked the zebra,Are you black with white strips?

Or white with black strips?

And the zebra asked me,Are you good with bad habits?

Or are you bad with good habits?

Are you noisy with quiet times?

Or are you quiet with noisy times?

Are you happy with sad days?

Or are you sad with happy days?

Are you neat with some sloppy ways?

Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?

And on and on and on and onAnd on and on he went.

I'll never ask a zebraAbout stripes

Again.

My Promise

Well I honestly did not think anyone read this, but I have been proven wrong.

I will do my best to shed light on to whatever is going through my brain on a somewhat consistent basis.

Life has a way of sapping all that is normal - but I promise that I will do my best to give sweet thoughts for consideration.

Much love to the avid readers.

Half Full or Half Empty - Fern or Bamboo

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me. "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. The same in year four.
"Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant.
But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.
"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo.. I will never quit on you. "Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest, realizing that God will never give up on me. And He will
never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life.