Mirrors: Friend or Foe

So today is my 25th birthday, and yes I know most of you are saying in your head 'oh she is so young'. However, I haven't been feeling so young here of late. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, character analization - pretty much looking in the mirror.

I woke up this morning and I will admit I was quite grouchy. I just wanted to sleep in - don't talk to me, don't look at me!!! I had to get up and take Kaylah to work, and Kandra to the doctor. It was just a morning that I was not motivated to do such tasks.

To further my grouchy mood, I get on the freeway and a 18-wheeler blared his air horn right on my tail because he thought I should be driving at 80 mph just like him. Yes, folks I am a law abiding citizen - I drive the speed limit. I finally dropped Kaylah off to work and realized I had a few minutes before we needed to be to the doctor and that I did not eat breakfast. Ugh this day was just not going so well. We arrived at the doctor's office and get settled in. The report came and we knew what we had to do to take care of Kandra's hand, but the nurse practioner tells us to wait. This day really is not going as planned. I am now 30 mins late to the office and we have to wait some more. Needless to say we ended up waiting an hour and fifteen minutes, and I was an hour late to the office.

Once I arrived at the office, I was pilfering around in one of the drawers that desperately needs cleaning out and found a little poem and was immediately convicted. Here it is:

"The Man in the Glass"

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass;

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you're a

straight-shootin' chum

And call you a wonderful guy.

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you've cheated the man in the glass.

- Author Unknown

After reading this, I was so convicted that I had to go find a place and repent for my terrible attitude. I realized that if I saw myself in the mirror this morning as someone who was a grouch, and ungrateful, what did others portray me as.

Did my sisters feel tension from me this morning as I yelled at the truck driver while his air horn was blaring in my ear? Did I miss an opportunity at Burger King to witness to the lady who gave me a "king size" Diet Coke for free? Did I pass up a chance to care about the nurse practioner as she sat there chatting while I was silently grumbling about being late to work? I now realize that when I look in the mirror there lies the truth completely - am I a friend or a foe!!!

Seedlings . . . .

My mind goes back to that day in preschool and it was science day. This particular day the teacher handed out clear drinking cups full of potting soil, a bean, and small droppers full of water. Instead of listening to the instructions of planting our seeds on the edge of the cup so that we could watch the full germination process, I poked my finger in the middle of the cup, planted my seed and announced that I was done. After a scolding for not following the instructions, I went on my merry little way. However all too soon I was disappointed. In the weeks following, we begin to examin the cups on the window ledge. Everyone in the class but me was watching the full process that was taking place with their seed, while I had to imagine what was taking place with mine. Finally, after a few weeks of patiently waiting, my little plant proved to be faithful to its "don't-follow-the-instructions-gardener" and out came the tiniest of all plants. You can only imagine how elated I was.

Life has a way of making you grow. It is inevitable and cannot be helped. Many times when I think of something growing, I think of a seed being planted in some dirt, add a little water, then a few weeks later there is a plant. Just like my preschool days, all I see is the outward appearance of this little plant. Never one time do I give thought to the dying process underneath the soil, the process of the hard shell falling off of the seed so that roots can be established, the effort of the plant trying to push through the soil, the constant battle of make sure the plant will not be blown away by the wind, or washed away by the excess amounts of water, and so on.

As I was thinking about this, and reflecting on my life, I recognized all to quickly that this is what my life has been like. Always before I have gauged my life by the outward appearance of what was there and how it could be fixed. I never really gave thought to what was going on on the inside. The dying process - my integrity being questioned, the hard shell falling off - letting go of past issues of bitterness and establishing myself in the Word, the emerging of a new plant - plunging myself in this new dimension of knowing God in the fellowship of His suffering and in the power of His resurrection, the constat battles of being blown or washed away - finding the time along with Him in prayer and reading the Word.

I encourage you today, if you find yourself in a growing stage, praise God through this time. As painful and obnoxious as it may seem, praise Him regardless. The dying process is not glamorous, however the results are a life that is laden with fruit that is pleasing to all that are around (Matthew 7:16-20). Continue to praise God through this time in your life, and in the end you will look back and see that He was protecting you the entire time.

Conversing with a Zebra

I asked the zebra,Are you black with white strips?

Or white with black strips?

And the zebra asked me,Are you good with bad habits?

Or are you bad with good habits?

Are you noisy with quiet times?

Or are you quiet with noisy times?

Are you happy with sad days?

Or are you sad with happy days?

Are you neat with some sloppy ways?

Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?

And on and on and on and onAnd on and on he went.

I'll never ask a zebraAbout stripes

Again.

My Promise

Well I honestly did not think anyone read this, but I have been proven wrong.

I will do my best to shed light on to whatever is going through my brain on a somewhat consistent basis.

Life has a way of sapping all that is normal - but I promise that I will do my best to give sweet thoughts for consideration.

Much love to the avid readers.