Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Weight of a Mantle

So this day has come to an end with quite a heavy load to bear. The missionary family received word that our dear Sister Barb Willoughby passed away. She had battled with cancer for over 12 years.

Just sitting here reflecting, I remember the times I have heard her minister she would always say she was a "worshipper". That was her sole purpose in life - to worsihp Jesus. Sister Barb lived out her life and fulfilled what she was called to do. The few times I was priviledged to be with her & sit and have conversation with her, she would always remind me to worship Jesus with everything that I had within me. Sister Barb had the innate ability to say just a few words, but give you food for thought for days. I always would go away, wanting my life to mirror hers.

Now that it has sunk in that she has passed, I realize there is no time to waste in using the mantle that she passed on. I truly feel the weight of her mantle - the responsibility to worship no matter what comes my way. The mantle of worship requires one to worship God because He is God and not just what He can do for me if I worship Him. There is no time like the present to step up to the plate and do my part, and make sure that my generation experiences the mantle of Barbara Willoughby. With a resounding yes, I will be a worshipper!!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

To Trust Is To Be Blind

Not that I have experience in being blind. However I do have many experiences of losing my glasses, thus feeling like I am blind. In those instances, I have relied on my other senses to guide me along the way. Many times I walk with my hands straight out in front of me, my steps are slower, and I am listening to see if someone is going to play a trick on me.

I remember one winter, we were on a snowmobile trip. On the last day, pulling into the house someone elbowed me in the eye and knocked one of my lenses out of my glasses. I was so distraught that I could not see. So in my blind state I went out to the driveway and crawled back & forth to see if I could find my missing lens. Of course my efforst were futile. While I was relying on my extra senses, I knew deep down in my heart that I could not find that missing lens in 3 feet of snow. Yes, I was thankful for the new pair of glasses. =0)

As I sit here tonight, I find myself feeling so empty. I should be studying for mid-terms, but I seriously have no energy. I find myself reflecting about my recent decisions about returning to school, and my career change. I keep asking the questions, "God is this really the plan, Am I really supposed to feel so drained, Are the feelings of defeat normal"? And in typical God fashion, the only response I get is "Trust Me".

Wow - Trust Me! Sometimes I feel like this thing called trust, is me out in the driveway trying to find my missing lens. Trust is something that you do day by day, relying on all the things you know to be true, - past experiences that have brought you to this point. Trust is not something that can just be pulled out like an umbrella on a rainy day. It is supposed to be like a savings account that you deposit into on a weekly basis, and you only withdraw when you need it.

So here I sit tonight finding myself on this path called trust. I am doing my best to endure the journey as if I were blind - relying on all my other senses so as not to miss anything along the way.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thing heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all the ways acknowledge Him and He shall bring it to pass.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Performance or Presence

I read something today that intrigued me. It said "Choir sang great - service was awesome!"

How many times do we come to church and just put on a show, and never really entertaion the presence of God. We base a "knock-out" service on how many ladies sent bobby pins flying & how many men loosened their ties.

I wonder how many of our churches would be full and overflowing if we could change our focus from perfecting our performance to perfecting our hosting skills. If we could really focus on getting in touch with Jesus and making sure His presence is entertained.

Recently I heard a sermon preached about being a worshipper or a praiser. They were defined as follows: praiser - someone who praises God for what He has done in your life, worshipper - someone who worships because of who God is, regardless of what He does for you.

Yes, I shout and dance with the best of them & I love it when the choir sings under the anointing, but more than anything, I cherish those sweet moments when Jesus comes into our services and drapes you in what feels like a big warm blanket, and you know your are safe.

Entertain His presence, and then your performance will be perfected!

Monday, May 25, 2009

How Do You Measure?

After a conversation I had today, I am perplexed by the thoughts that run through my head. I keep asking myself, "Is this really how life is supposed to be? or is there a better way"?

I know that we as humans all seek approval in some shape or form. However, the more of the world I see the more I realize that this is a huge issue not just on a secular level, but even within our churches. I see girls so consumed by what type of clothes they wear, who their friends are, who the hang out with at General Conference, and help us even if they get to go . . . all of this for a status symbol. It almost feels like our lives are virtual facebook pages - the more approval we have from certain people the better off we are. And here I sit asking myself the question why?

What is it about approval that makes us think we are somebody and something? I would hate to think that it is an attitude of pride since the book of Proverbs cautions us about that. Since when has it become ok to guage our happiness by the approval of man, and the thing we own or do not. I know the book of Matthew specifically talks about storing your treasure where moth & rust cannot corrupt.

I feel like the list could go on & on of all the places in the Bible that it instructs us to not put our hopes on the approval of man, but in Jesus Christ. I know that I have fallen into this trap many times, and am sure that it will happen again. However, I want to keep in mind that the only person who's approval I need is God. He has validated me to fulfill my ministry, and when I walk the path that He has created for me I know that I have His approval and nothing else matters. The doors that have been opened up for me are directly from God Himself.

So it is with HIS approval that I walk through these doors knowing He has my best interest at heart. If I measure up to Him, and the plans He has created for me - only then will true happiness come.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Food For Thought

So yes, life has been insanely busy. School & work keep me going full time at both, and then there is the the homework, and let's not even talk about my responsibilities at church. It overwhelms me nonetheless. However, just because I am not blogging like I used to, does not mean I don't have tid bits running through my head. Here is what has been on the thought play list for a few days.

Thought #1:

Dreams & visions are from God Himself.
So many times we feel like that just because we do not see them come to pass immediately, we hang them up & forget about them.
What needs to happen is we need to go the the room of faith and do a little spring cleaning.
Clean out the cob webs, blow the dust off, spray some febreeze & begin to breathe life back into our dreams.
It does not matter that our dreams seem so far-fetched does not mean that God has changed His ability to bring them to pass.
So reach for the stars - who cares if it is a bean dream! You never know, it might be in the perfect will of God!!!!

Thought #2:
Friends come & go, but the power of friendship stays the same.
What you invest into a friendship, is exactly what you get out of it.
Just because you lose touch of friends every now & then, does not mean that that relationship cannot be rekindled.
The power of friendship is similar to that of a high powered battery, it will keep going for a long time without being recharged.
God gave us friends to help us through the difficult times in life, just so we would have laughing partners.

Thought #3
Trust is a huge topic!!!
I do not think it is a lesson that is completely learned in life.
I myself feel like trust is a huge vortex that keeps spinning around and round.
So many times in life we trust God for a period of time & then all of a sudden, we think we are a superhero and for some reason we do not need to trust.
However we fall down & go running like a dog with our tail stuck between our legs asking God to forgive us.
I envision trust in God like a good game of memory.
You may not always get the match right away.
However you keep trying until you know where all the pieces are.
Trust in God is the same way - it is a continual process, until trusting Him becomes second nature & we do it without even realizing it!!!

Thought #4:
Since I am soon to celebrate my 26th birthday, I have realized that my mom is ALWAYS right!!!
She taught me that 2 wrongs do not make a right.
Even though my sisters & I always smarted back and said "No, they make a left".
This was our way of getting out of admitting she was right.
Well here I sit today, with my mom's voice ringing in my head.
For 2 days in a row, I have worked with this lady who is literally what the Bible talked about when it said "Pray for those who despitefully use you."
She has done everything within her power to make me angry and to get me in trouble.
Every time I just look at her, smile & walk away - with my mom's voice ringing in my head "2 wrongs don't make a right".
Finally, today my boss came up to me & said "So how long were you going to let this happen without talking to me"?
There was really not much I could do except here my mom's voice again in my head "If I hold my peace, and let the Lord fight my battles. . . "
My mom is precious & wise beyond words.
Love you mother!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Bringing Everyone Up to Speed

So I have not been completely faithful to my New Year's Resolutions. I know that alot of people don't ever keep their's, but I so wanted to do my best at keeping them.

Anwyays . . . so much has happened since my last post. Here are the hightlights:
1. Became highly addicted to Facebook.
2. Mom flew home again for Kaylah's surgery.
3. Kaylah is a new person.
4. Tessa moved home.
5. Been looking for a new job.
6. Denied a job with Verizon Wireless - I just didn't click with those people!!!
7. Still working for the church.
8. Had planning retreat.
9. Started coaching Jr. Quizzing again.
10. Accepted to Dental School.
11. About to land a job with Nordstrom.
12. Thinking about becoming a dentist - why settle?????

Life is good - extremely busy, but I am so blessed.

I do not know how often I will blogging - since school is now going to consume most of my time.

I will stop by with some inspiring posts everynow and then.