Christmas 2008

To my family in Africa:
You are the ones my heart longs to be with, but time & circumstance will not allow it. I pray that you have been blessed by surruounding yourselves with people who love you and will help you celebrate this wonderful day. Even though we are apart, know that you were not replaced or forgotten. Merry Christmas to those who consume every though of every day, and who are the subject of every conversation to anyone that will listen.

To my family in Canada:
I sure wish I could have spent this white Christmas with you. In fact I am jealous you had 2 ft of snow, and all I had was 33 degree weather with the sun shining. Life is different that we used to know it. Oh the memories of sitting on the kitchen floor (yes all 7 of us grands), and Poppa complaining that we had 200 chairs to sit on and we choose to sit on the floor. The days when getting gameboy was easier for Nana to buy than for her to decide what size of clothes would be best. Merry Christmas to you all as we go about the changes that life brings. Especially now as we branch out and become our own families. May we never forget the traditions that have made us who we are and may we celebrate them for many more Christmas' to come.

To the family who cared for me on Christmas 2008:
You all are incredible!!! My heart is overwhelmed at your thoughtfulness as you took in 2 stray girls and loved us like your own. You made us feel like we belonged and that was the greatest Christmas present anyone could ever give. You accepted us for who we are and allowed us to be ourselves. I pray you all will be blessed for giving the simple gift of love. You will never know what a great feeling it is. I am so blessed to have you in my life. You made me feel like I was with my own family. In fact there were a few times, that if I closed my eyes I thought for sure I was with them. I knew I loved you before this holiday and now I am convinced that I love you even more!! Merry Christmas to you ALL (the puppies included)!!!!!!!!

Life

Life sure has been crazy around my house for the past few days.

It goes something like this:

-taking care of Pastor Trimble's family while he had open heart surgery.
this means going to the hospital everday for a week, & making sure everyone had eaten that day.
-during that time, I was laid off from my nanny family. I am sure going to miss those kids.
-decorated the church for the Christmas program.
-directed the choir Christmas program.
-Choir Christmas party.
-Jr & Sr Bible Quizzing started.
-my friend Amy had jaw surgery. I stayed with her overnight for 3 nights.
-Christmas shopping.
-wrapping all my presents.
-car shopping.

Yeah I know this list isn't that long, but by the time you drive and run all over time there isn't much time at the end of the day to blog.
I have not neglected you faithful readers - life just has been so busy. I have found myself asking what is more important sleeping or eating. And at times sleeping has won the battle.
Thanks for your support!

Be Still

I literally have had this blog up for a couple of hours contemplating on how to convey what is on my mind.

My last post I referenced the verse in Psalms that instructs us to "Be still and know that I am God." I truly have been doing that the past couple of days. It seems like as the holidays draw nearer, more and more seems to pile up. I get so frusterated with myself for the simple fact that I run hither and yon and really don't take the time to Be Still. I get so busy, that I double book myself with appointments, I put to much responsibility on my own shoulders instead of spreading the wealth.

However last night I was stopped dead in my tracks with the news of a few simple text messages. My dear friend proceeded to tell me she has cancer! Even now typing this I have a hard time comprehending this. As she began to tell me all that was going on, I suddenly realized that I was supposed to go for coffee with her about 2 weeks ago. I asked her if this is what she wanted to talk to me about that night I cancelled. She said yes and immediately I was so convicted. How could I be so selfish and not put her first. Isn't that what I learned in Sunday School - JOY = Jesus, Others & Yourself last? As I sat there for 2 hours texting her back and forth, I knew that I had learned my lesson to take the time to "Be Still".

Please be in prayer for my friend. She is 24 and has been diagnosed with malignant lymphoma. The doctors feel like that they caught it quite early, however it does not take away from the fact she has cancer. Also, she has not been in church for over a year, and pretty much believes that God is punishing her for this. She made the statement last night "I am ready to die, that way I would know where I was going. I don't know if I believe in Heaven or Hell." Pray that God will give me wisdom to help her through this and that she will be restored to Him - body, soul & spirit.

So today I was at the bank and Lorraine was helping me. I felt that I should invite her to our Christmas service on Sunday. Right then and there, I took the time to Be Still and plant a seed.

No longer will I avoid those moments of stillness. I recognise that in that stillness is usually when God reveals some incredible things in you life. I encourage you today in the busy-ness of Christmas to take the time to Be Still and hear the voice of the one from the manger.

The Most WONDERFUL Time of Year

This truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
The happiest season of all!
Hearts will be glowing!

Yes, this is my most favorite season of the year. The decorating, the party planning, the christmas musical at church, not so much the cold weather unless there is 10' of snow & I HAVE to stay home, the christmas lights, the logs in the fireplace - all of it I just love.

Even though it is the 5th of December, I have found myself already going to the malls like everyone else who waited til the last minute, however my tree is decorated, the outside of the house is decorated (mom you would be so proud!!!), my christmas cards are ordered, and I have even a few presents bought, just not wrapped. In the midst of all this I just find myself so busy running here and there, making sure everything is just right!

I have been finding myself thinking about buying gel pens to match the color of the cards, what kind of new recipe I will make for the Pastor's family this year, what type of decorations I will need for the Christmas musical, what dates my "Before & After" Christmas party will be. However in my "busy-ness" I fail to remember why we celebrate this wonderful season. It is so cliche' but Jesus truly is the reason for the season.

Tonight we had choir practice for the Christmas musical, and as we began to sing about how glorious, majestic & worth our King of Kings truly is ~ He came into that practice. I finally ended the song and turned it into a beautiful time of prayer. I had our Music Director lead us in prayer. She began to quote Psalm 46:10 'Be still and know that I am God." She began to encourage to put God back in His rightful place. I couldn't help but to stop and pause and rest in His presence. To truly concentrate on Him and thank Him that He came as a sweet little baby to this earth so long ago. Also remembering that He created us to worship Him & that He deserves all praise and glory.

Since leaving practice I have been repeating that verse of Scripture over and over again. I was also reminded of a blog that my sister wrote a little while back. It's not Christmasy by any means, but it's appropriate for this blog.

"The Silence Between the Notes."

She wrote,

"Have you ever noticed in life that sometimes the quietest moments are the ones that define you the most? Just recently I was reminded by the great composer Ludwig VOn Beethoven that it's not necessarily the musical notes that carry the mood of the piece but the dramatic pauses in between.

SO here I am today faced with the longest and loniest and largest PAUSE in my life. I have reached point A and am moving to point B but the journey between the points is what is defining me as an individual. Life is not always about achieving one goal to the next; sometimes life is about learning from the journey that has brought as far as we are. Life can not alwasy be about one event or another,finishing one task only to look for another, or to achieve the greastest reward still looking for something greater. There are times when we need to realize that being still and quiet are not bad things but they are sometimes the most valuable to you spiritually,emotionally,physically and mentally.

As a Christian how can you expect to hear the voice of God when all we ever do is talk or busy ourselves with the voices of other people. We listen for the approval of men never really seeking the approval of the ONE that matters the most. I think that sometimes we surround ourselves with noise and voices to drown out the VOICE that speaks the loudest. Beethoven also said that while God whispered to all men HE shouted at him(Beethoven) causing him to go completely deaf. It was not until then that Beethoven actually listened and heard music for what it really was. He realized then the importance of a PAUSE was the importance of the SILENCE.

I belive that life in its own way is a symphony that only you and I can determine where the PAUSES and the silence play HUGE roles. Life can't always be about the crashing of the cymbals and toooting of horns and the delicate whines of a violin; but somewhere along the line there has to be a PAUSE a time of reflection a time to stop and ponder the moment a time to rethink and a time to refocus.
It may come at an awkward time in your life or rather unexpectedly but never disregard the silence. In the silence is where we hear the most."

The 1st Day of December

While I am writing this and there is 46 minutes left of November and I have officially put up my Christmas tree (the lights will not be turned on until tomorrow - Dec 1st), and have decorated my blog for the blessed holiday season. I will stop and reminisce of such an incredible Thanksgiving weekend.

It all started on Wednesday November 26, 2008.

I was running around town for my dear friend Shauna to see if I could find her some wicker ornaments to hang. Yes I really did go to all the Home Goods in St. Louis and could not find a single one. In the midst of my running errands, my Pastor was in the hospital and found out he has 15 blockages & needs open heart surgery ASAP. Please keep him in your prayers. While I was taking care of church business and running around, I had a great chat with my dad. It had been a while since we were just able to talk, share ideas, exchange things we had been reading in the WORD. Yeah we're cool like that and we love to get on each others nerves. Oh and did I mention I did NOT have to nanny today - HALLELUJAH!!!!!! I really do love my nanny kids, but I do look forward to school holidays, because that means I usually have the day off too.

Thursday November 27, 2008.

This was a day to sleep in and I especially wanted to take advantage of that since it was in the middle of the week. However those who love me the most decided otherwise. I received 6 phone calls before 10 0'clock. But none-the-less I refused to be grouchy. It was Thanksgiving Day and I had way to much to be thankful for. I had dear friends who invited my sister and I over to their home for dinner. My pastor was out of the hospital. The Lord supplied money for my car to be fixed. I had plenty of delicious food to eat. My family called to wish me a "Happy Thanksgiving-from Africa". I have a home, clothes, a car, & good health. I have friends who put up with my weird sens of humor and laugh with me and not at me when I think something is funny.

Thanksgiving Day of 2008 will always hold a special place in my memory bank. It was this day that Java with Jenifer Joyce was truly initiated. I made name cards for everyone that was a member of Java with Jennifer Joyce at the Shirley home. There was quite a representation - the president: Cylinda Nickel, the North Carolina chapter, Missouri chapter, & the FMD chapter. If you want to know who these people are ask Cylinda.

On this day, I was introduced to "Dang-it Gary, *squallop* Lorraine, Cindy in her midwest town, and the pickup lines could go on forever. Also on this day, I chilled with some of my very best friends: Kaylah D & Cylinda & her family. There was no pressure - just a great time of laughter, quiet moments & good food.

Friday November 28, 2008

I actually had every intention of getting up at 8:30 a.m. becasue I had to run to the bank for my dad so they could move in to their new house. OOPS - I slept in & mom called to wake me up. Sorry dad!!! I got to the bank and took care of business. Please help me pray for Lorraine (yes that is her real name). I do business with her alot for mom & dad. I would love to win her to the Lord. I came back and took a shower, got Kaylah and we went and ate Mexican food - my fav!!!!!! We were finally on our way to the party store. Thank goodness they were open. Finally we arrived at the church.

Today was the MK Thanksgiving party - WOOT WOOT!!! Kaylah & I started the decorating process. If you know me at all you know I love love to decorate. So off to the storage closet I went and started pulling out all the "fall" stuff. I refuse to decorate for Christmas until it is Dec. Let me just interject that I so appreciate attending a church that has a decorating closet. We had so much fun making the fellowship hall cozy & warm for our MK family. Everyone started to arrive and the party was underway. When it was all said and done there were about 25 in attendance and not everyone showed up. It was a great time of fun, food, fellowship, and a few moments of prayer. Since this is my thanksgiving blog - let me just say I am so grateful/thankful for my MK family!!!!

I came home from the party Friday night and was quite agitated. Sometimes I get in those moods, and nothing seems to calm me down. So when that happens I start cleaning. For the sake of time let's just say I went to bed at 2. However, my house was spotless!

Saturday November 29, 2008

I slept in today - I just love holidays. I traded back and forth between the couch and the bed with Kaylah until it was time for me to go to work. It actually doesn't feel like work. I have been babysitting sweet Karly since she was 5 months old. She is now 17 months old and as sweet as can be. I was giving her a bath and she knows what swim like a fish means. Needless to say the entire bathroom & myself included was soaking wet. I got her out and was putting her jammies on her and she would grab my face and start patting my cheek. She was definitely getting sleepy and was a huge cuddle bug. I am so thankful for the Keske family. They are super sweet. As I was leaving, I mentioned to them that we were trying to raise money for mom to come home to be with us for Kaylah surgery. Without hesitation they said to let them know and they would support us financially. I am thankful for such sweet people in my life.

Sunday November 30, 2008

Only 1 service today!!!!!! Have I failed to mention I love holidays!!!! I went to church by myself today. Kaylah is just worn out from pain. We had a good move of the Lord there. However even though Pastor did not preach, he led worship and out did himself - he really needs our prayers! I came home and made Kaylah get up so we could go get some food. We decided to go to our favorite place to eat - Elephant Bar. We love going to this restraunt. It's so relaxing, out of the way, but in close proximity to the mall. Of course we made a quick run through the mall - we would have stayed longer but they were closing in an hour. However we did manage to buy each other a small Christmas present a piece. We came home and I pulled all the Christmas decorations out and made Kaylah lay on the couch as I decorated. Like I said before, the tree is up and decorated. However the lights are not allowed to be turned on until tomorrow!!!!

Since I have typed an entire book about 5 days of my Thanksgiving weekend, I must go for now. However, I hope that as you read this you will understand that I am truly grateful for all that God has done for me. I'm not the richest person in the world, nor do I claim to be the smartest. But what I do know is that every thing that I have has come from the Father. Without Him I would be nothing, could do nothing and would never be anything that I have dreamed. Take time to be grateful and thank Him for the little things. He loves to hear our thanks and rewards us in return. I truly believe that Thanksgiving comes before Christmas for a reason. It is a time of reflection on all the good things that He has given us. We may not be able to keep up with the Jones' across the road during Christmas, but we do have the ability to remember they way that He came to earth as a sweet babe to save us and how could we ever forget to thank Him enough for that.

Happy Thanksgiving 2008 friends!!! And remember to be thankful first and then celebrate His birth!

Psalm 3

Last night I was doing my Bible Reading, and as I was about to go to bed I felt impressed to read Psalm 3. Not remembering what passage this was, I quickly opened my Bible and read the enitre chapter like 5 times.

Verse 5 hit home:

But thou O Lord,

Art a sheild for me;

My glory

And the lifter of my head.

I read this over and over again, because I knew that this was to be my verse for today. The Lord knew that Kaylah's Dr appointments were going to be stressful, our car would break down and that we would need to be strong regardless of what the doctor said.

This was definitely my verse today!!! God literally was with us all afternoon long. I felt Him the moment our car decided to start stalling all the way down Olive Blvd - He truly confirmed He was a shield for us becasuse we did manage to pull into the doctor's office safe and sound. I knew He was with us as I started calling around for a rental car - He was my glory as I found that last rental car that Enterprise had for the day. Jesus wrapped His arms around me as I walked into church - and the entire time He was the lifter of my head.

Verse 6 says:

I will not be afraid

Of ten thousands of people

That set themselves against me round about

I have strenght tonight in knowing that He truly is with us and He knows exactly where we are at. We will complete this journey with a grateful heart knowing that He deserves all the praise!

Verse 5 says:

I laid me down and I slept

I awaked for the Lord sustained me

I have comfort in knowing He is my strength and that He will give us rest. He truly is our shield and no weapon formed against us shall prosper.

While these verses are out of order, they have ministered to me in this particular way all day. I was reminded of a song that I sang with chorale during my 3 years at Gateway that is my anthem today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB6cFqCBMAE

From A Sincere Heart

Last night we had all church prayer, and to be honest I did not want to go. However inspite of my exhausted state I forced myself to go. I was not disappointed by no means! For the past week the Lord has been speaking to me in dreams. Now I do not mean to spook anyone and make you think I have gone off the deep end. For one instance, I had gone to bed and had a vivid dream about my dad. I woke up out of a dead sleep and just felt deeply impressed to call my dad and pray for him. I tried to ignore, roll over and go back to sleep, but to no avail I could no shake this from my spirit. So finally after an hour and fifteen minutes of battling my self will, I called my dad in the middle of the night weeping, explaining that I HAD to pray for him. Of course he was gracious enough to let me pray for him, and then he of course wanted an explanation.

I began to explain to him what I was feeling in my spirit and the things that I was dreaming about. As I was speaking the words out of my mouth, God began to reveal to me that my family was under extreme spiritual attack. Kaylah's sickness and extreme pain, Kandra's malaria situation, Tessa's struggling with depression and life changing decisions, Mom & Dad's house being rented right out from under them, and my fatigue. Now I realize that if this was happening one situation at a time I would venture to say that it's just life and it happens. However, when we are struggling with such huge issues all at the same time, I'm smart enough to know the enemy does not like what we stand for and will do everything he can to distract us. So last night at prayer I walked in under such a heavy burden and had so much on my mind that it was difficult for me to focus. I was kneeling down at the front and just listening to the different ones connect with God. While listening, my radar ears picked up a voice just to my right that moved me to tears. You see it was the voice of Ray Helm. He is a new convert and is so in love with Jesus Christ. He really doesn't know the "pentecostal" way of praying - oh wait yes he does, he knows how to connect with a Savior who loves him. He realizes the price that was paid for his soul, therefore he is so grateful for the changes that have come to his life. For quite some time I just sat and wept and listened to this man pray.

Finally, I entered my own realm of just thanksgiving to God for being so accessible. I began to praise God for being such a God that does not care about being perfect and praying our perfect pentecostal prayers. What He does desire is for His people to come to Him with a pure heart and pure motives, who are willing to show Him our imperfect state. I began to enter into a realm in the Spirit that I had not been in such a long time. I began to intercede for my family and began to access the blood and plead it over every one of us. I prayed for my dear friends the Willoughyby's, the Royers, the Marquez's, & Timo to name just a few. I didn't pray a prayer of asking, I prayed a prayer of praise and thanksgiving for what God is doing in their lives. Whatever manner He chooses to heal them is His business, however it is our business as His children to praise Him for what He has done through them already and what He will continue to do.

This blog comes from a sincere heart, from one who is doing their best to be transparent about life when it seems the hardest.

Mercy for America

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning
Commentary.

My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crïeche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.

I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing yet? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Prayer - it does work!!!

Hey Ya'll,

Today has been another crazy day of doctors & hospital visits with my sister.

Life is going as good as can be expected.

Kaylah really needs a miracle ~ no other way to describe it.

Love you all.
C

The Power of NO

* I posted this around the same time last year ~ I thought it was worthy of reposting.*

If the Peanut Butter said NO to the Jelly would there be a PB&J?





If the Honey said NO to the Nut would there be HONEY NUT CHEERIOS?





If the Ham said NO to the Burger would there be a HAMBURGER?





If the Diet said NO to the Coke would there be DIET COKE?





If the Dr. said NO to the Pepper would there be DR. PEPPER?





If the Sweet said NO to the Tea would there be SWEET TEA?





If the Salt said NO to the Vinegar would there be SALT & VINEGAR CHIPS?





If the Pop said NO to the Corn would there be POPCORN?





If the Taco said NO to the Chip would there be TACO CHIPS?





Yes, I have weird thought patterns. However, humor me and see how creative this list can become. Sometimes it's good to be goofy - it really does relieve the stress.



Even though this blog started out goofy - there really is a thought behind all of this.
How many times do we take on tasks knowing that we will stress out completely before it gets accomplished. We know our plate is full and overflowing, we feel overloaded and overwhelmed, and yet we just keep piling on more. Instead of asking for two plates at the buffet, we say to ourselves oh it will fit right over here, and before long we have a huge mess of something that no longer looks appetizing and or attractive.



I encourage you today - take time for yourself.



Learn to say no when you know that the task is greater than you have strength.



If the Lord promised to never put more on us than we can bear - then why do we do it to ourselves.



The power of two little letters is so liberating.



Just say no - light a candle - grab a book - turn on some soft music - take time for YOU!!!

Stealing JR mints out of the Halloween Pumpkin.

So for the past few days I have been throwing around the thought that I think every girl thinks about when she is 25 - getting married & having a family. Thoughts like "Am I ready for this? Will I be a good wife/mom", Am I capable of juggling work, church, family & being sane?", "Will I be a good role model?" and the list goes on.

However, as I sit on this blue, little tyke chair, leaning up against the counter at my nanny family's house, I am beginning to have second thoughts. You see for the past two hours I have dealt with a screaming, colicy baby. I have been puked on three times, changed jammies on all the kids twice, paced the floors singing, praying for this sweet child to go to sleep. I have rocked, bounced, swaddled, changed diapers - folks I have tried everything. Finally, I put the screaming child in her crib and let her scream while I put the other two to bed. Oh wait - they had to go potty, and they forgot to brush their teeth, and they forgot their favorite bunny in the basement, and their binky was lost in the living room. Needless to say I was going insane. Once the older two were in bed, I went back into my screaming little girl, and for the last time, changed everything from the skin out, swaddled her in a light weight blanket, and begun the process of bouncing all over the house to get her to sleep.

FINALLY!!! SLEEP, SLEEP WONDERFUL SLEEP FELL UPON ALL THOSE THAT WERE TIRED. It was as if I had turned a light switch. All of a sudden a quiet hush came upon the house - and boy was I thankful. I was so stressed from all the hub-a-bub that I went and stole all the Jr. Mints out of my sweet little babies Halloween pumpkin and raided the fridge for a Diet Coke. Yes, I know that I am a horrible person for doing that, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!!!!!

So back to my thoughts of settling down and having my own family???? I do not know if I am ready for it. I know my mom says it will all change when it becomes my own little one. However, after tonight I'm not too sure. So for those of you who are trying to matchmake me with someone - start praying real hard, because I'm not warming up to the idea as quickly as you would like me to. :O)

Please Pray

Dear Friends,

Please keep my sister Kaylah in your prayers.

She is experiencing pain again like she had before her surgery.

We really need the Lord to work a miracle like only HE can do.

Thanks for being awesome!!!

I Wanna Go Home

So you have probaly all heard the song "I Wanna Go Home" by Michael Buble. Well let's just say that it's not one of my top 5 right now. Everytime I hear that song, I have to skip it. That is truly how my hear is feeling: I just want to go home.

Last week my mom sent me pics from their quest up Mt. Kilimanjaro for church. When I was flipping through the pics, I came across one of the pics that mom took of the road. Really to the common eye it probably means nothing. However, when I saw that pic I started bawling my eyes out. You see last summer, I spent about 3 weeks in this truck. I went through pot holes, bounced over countless miles of gravel road, thanked the good Lord for paved roads, packed luggage in and out of this truck, squished in the back seat and trunk with my 3 sisters, and sometimes nationals. Oh the memories I have of just the short 8 weeks I spent with this beloved SFC vehicle. Yes, I do long for my family and that is what this is about, but isn't it interesting that something so insignificant can trigger an entire memory bank!

No I did not grow up on the mission field, but I do know that for the 14 weeks (6 weeks my first trip & 8 weeks my second trip) I was there - that was home. Those peopel were my people and are still my people. The way they have church (even though at times terribly long) - is the way I long for church in North America, their menial diet of rice and beans - I crave more than once a week. You see home is really not where your house is - it's where your heart is.

My mind cannot help but turn to the verse in Matthew 6 that says "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." I don't know if it's correct or even possible to invert the words and say where my heart is there will my treasure be. Regardless, that is how I feel. My heart is with a people who are not my skin color, who know not the language I know, who will never understand my culture - nor I their's. But this one thing I know is that one day we all will celebrate together in our HOME for the treasures and sacrifices we have laid up. For it is true - where your treasure is - there will your heart be also!!!!

Firemen Don't Eat Goldfish

As you all know I am a nanny - going on 4 years now WOW!!!

Today was the typical chaotic lunch hour with 2 kids coming in from school, screaming because their field trip to the "punkin patch" got canceled, the baby climbing out of his high chair doing the monkey bars down the side of the wall. You get the drift that life is NEVER dull at my job.

Since Halloween is the long awaited holiday that my nanny children love, remnants of last year's costumes are being pulled out of the closet to be recycled and examined to see if new ones need to be purchased. Well this year the oldest boy (3yr) is determined he is NOT going to wear an old costume. He is going to be a firefighter end of discussion!!! We have talked for many days about what firemen wear when they go out to fight fires - we have read books about firemen - we have gone on the internet to look at firefighter gear. This has been a huge process. Well last night, his mother broke down and bought him a brand new costume. He was so proud of this firefighter costume that he actually slept in the pants last night as PJ's, and he was awake this morning at 6 am waiting for me at the door with his "fireman helmet, jacket, and a MIZZOU tiger tail as his fire hose." Oh did I fail to mention that he HAD to wear the helmet to school and his teacher let him wear it all morning long!!! HILARIOUS!!!!!

Now back to lunch time . . . my sweet boy whom I could not live without, marched in the door from school (still with the helmet on), went straight to the closet and put all the gear back on (as he was dressed at 6 am). Since lunch was delayed, I was passing out small handfulls of goldfish to all the kids while we waited on grilled cheese. The baby had some on his tray, sister had some, and I asked my boy if he wanted any, and in the most grown up voice he could find he stated, "FIREMEN DO NOT EAT GOLDFISH!!!!" Of course I laughed with his mom over this, but the thought never left my mind.

As I was pondering his statement, I thought how many times have I gone into prayer to make my requests known to God, and I end up telling HIM how HE has to perform. I make statements to which I do not even know the facts to. I state the circumstance according to the way that I see it, and do not even find a way to look at the picture from a different angle. I tell HIM the current situation concerning my finances, and the way HE can fix it is to give me a certain job, or I am sick and I tell HIM to provide a way for me to go to the Dr. instead of giving HIM the choice to heal or not. I am going to be honest - this has really perplexed me all day. God is God all by Himself and HE does not need my help. HE sees the end from the beginning - HE is the Prince of Peace - HE is the Lily of the Valley - HE is the Bright and Morning Star.

The things you can learn from a 3 year old and how they can be applied to day-to-day living is incredible. Give God credit for knowing all the facts - for know exactly how the puzzle is put together & for knowing what the picture looks like even before all the pieces are put together - for knowing which door is going to open even before there is a door to even look at. God is God all by HIMSELF & HE does not need our help or input!!! Just remember I learned today that "FIREMEN DO NOT EAT GOLDFISH!!!!!!"

Crazy As A Straw

As you can tell by now, I have thoroughlly neglected this blog for like the last 4 months. One might say that it has become dusty and in dire need of a good house cleaning. Well folks I have done just that - I have cleaned up around here. I have added a few things and took some away. Hopefully this redecorating project will inspire me to write. It is not that I have not had anything to write, because I constantly have thoughts that run through my head. However, life has been so crazy these past few months with hospital visits, surgeries, family visiting, school, new jobs, - just stuff that is life. Yes, I know that none of this is justification for neglecting my blog, I just felt like no one would want to read about my life that is crazier that the most crazy straw you have ever seen - you know the one that your kids get in birthday goody bags that usually get broken in the dishwasher. The kind of straw that goes straight from the cup of milk and then all of a sudden it curves to the left, then back to the right, and if you're super cool you can get the straw that looks like a pair of glasses. Folks that has been life lately - going every direction opposite of what normal should feel like. I know this sounds like a rant and rave session and it really is not, but just understand life has been super crazy. Please forgive me for not leaving you with valuable tidbits. Through this entirely crazy time, I can say that I have visibly seen the hand of God working and providing in the most obsene ways possible. I have joked here of late with some of my friends that the crazier my life gets the greater HIS faithfulness comes through. Exodus 14:13 has been my rock to hold on for the past few months, ". . . stand still and see the salvation of the Lord . . ." No matter how many loops life has, take a moment to stand still!!

Mirrors: Friend or Foe

So today is my 25th birthday, and yes I know most of you are saying in your head 'oh she is so young'. However, I haven't been feeling so young here of late. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, character analization - pretty much looking in the mirror.

I woke up this morning and I will admit I was quite grouchy. I just wanted to sleep in - don't talk to me, don't look at me!!! I had to get up and take Kaylah to work, and Kandra to the doctor. It was just a morning that I was not motivated to do such tasks.

To further my grouchy mood, I get on the freeway and a 18-wheeler blared his air horn right on my tail because he thought I should be driving at 80 mph just like him. Yes, folks I am a law abiding citizen - I drive the speed limit. I finally dropped Kaylah off to work and realized I had a few minutes before we needed to be to the doctor and that I did not eat breakfast. Ugh this day was just not going so well. We arrived at the doctor's office and get settled in. The report came and we knew what we had to do to take care of Kandra's hand, but the nurse practioner tells us to wait. This day really is not going as planned. I am now 30 mins late to the office and we have to wait some more. Needless to say we ended up waiting an hour and fifteen minutes, and I was an hour late to the office.

Once I arrived at the office, I was pilfering around in one of the drawers that desperately needs cleaning out and found a little poem and was immediately convicted. Here it is:

"The Man in the Glass"

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass;

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you're a

straight-shootin' chum

And call you a wonderful guy.

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you've cheated the man in the glass.

- Author Unknown

After reading this, I was so convicted that I had to go find a place and repent for my terrible attitude. I realized that if I saw myself in the mirror this morning as someone who was a grouch, and ungrateful, what did others portray me as.

Did my sisters feel tension from me this morning as I yelled at the truck driver while his air horn was blaring in my ear? Did I miss an opportunity at Burger King to witness to the lady who gave me a "king size" Diet Coke for free? Did I pass up a chance to care about the nurse practioner as she sat there chatting while I was silently grumbling about being late to work? I now realize that when I look in the mirror there lies the truth completely - am I a friend or a foe!!!

Seedlings . . . .

My mind goes back to that day in preschool and it was science day. This particular day the teacher handed out clear drinking cups full of potting soil, a bean, and small droppers full of water. Instead of listening to the instructions of planting our seeds on the edge of the cup so that we could watch the full germination process, I poked my finger in the middle of the cup, planted my seed and announced that I was done. After a scolding for not following the instructions, I went on my merry little way. However all too soon I was disappointed. In the weeks following, we begin to examin the cups on the window ledge. Everyone in the class but me was watching the full process that was taking place with their seed, while I had to imagine what was taking place with mine. Finally, after a few weeks of patiently waiting, my little plant proved to be faithful to its "don't-follow-the-instructions-gardener" and out came the tiniest of all plants. You can only imagine how elated I was.

Life has a way of making you grow. It is inevitable and cannot be helped. Many times when I think of something growing, I think of a seed being planted in some dirt, add a little water, then a few weeks later there is a plant. Just like my preschool days, all I see is the outward appearance of this little plant. Never one time do I give thought to the dying process underneath the soil, the process of the hard shell falling off of the seed so that roots can be established, the effort of the plant trying to push through the soil, the constant battle of make sure the plant will not be blown away by the wind, or washed away by the excess amounts of water, and so on.

As I was thinking about this, and reflecting on my life, I recognized all to quickly that this is what my life has been like. Always before I have gauged my life by the outward appearance of what was there and how it could be fixed. I never really gave thought to what was going on on the inside. The dying process - my integrity being questioned, the hard shell falling off - letting go of past issues of bitterness and establishing myself in the Word, the emerging of a new plant - plunging myself in this new dimension of knowing God in the fellowship of His suffering and in the power of His resurrection, the constat battles of being blown or washed away - finding the time along with Him in prayer and reading the Word.

I encourage you today, if you find yourself in a growing stage, praise God through this time. As painful and obnoxious as it may seem, praise Him regardless. The dying process is not glamorous, however the results are a life that is laden with fruit that is pleasing to all that are around (Matthew 7:16-20). Continue to praise God through this time in your life, and in the end you will look back and see that He was protecting you the entire time.

Conversing with a Zebra

I asked the zebra,Are you black with white strips?

Or white with black strips?

And the zebra asked me,Are you good with bad habits?

Or are you bad with good habits?

Are you noisy with quiet times?

Or are you quiet with noisy times?

Are you happy with sad days?

Or are you sad with happy days?

Are you neat with some sloppy ways?

Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?

And on and on and on and onAnd on and on he went.

I'll never ask a zebraAbout stripes

Again.

My Promise

Well I honestly did not think anyone read this, but I have been proven wrong.

I will do my best to shed light on to whatever is going through my brain on a somewhat consistent basis.

Life has a way of sapping all that is normal - but I promise that I will do my best to give sweet thoughts for consideration.

Much love to the avid readers.